Fritz Kiersch's Gor (1988) is nothing more than a mostly harmless piece of campy fantasy schlock—a story about a nerdy professor who gets teleported to a world of high adventure and becomes a hero. Trying to mimic the narrative compactness of Star Wars, it introduces a slew of strange yet cliched characters in record time, gives them a goal, and sets them loose. Yet the story never truly comes together. Instead Gor feels like the cliff notes version of a television show. There are too many absurdities to the story to count: the hero's mastery of armed combat in about a day; gratuitous pit-fighting scenes between scantily-clad women; a scene where the heroes IMMEDIATELY pick a fight with the guards in the main villain's hidden city and subsequently get captured...just because. The effects are cheesy (much of the story revolves around a "Heart Stone," a giant piece of plastic with a pulsating neon light in the middle), the fight choreography never gets any more complicated that the actors smashing their bodies into each other, and it jumps the gun sequel-baiting by introducing the next movie's villain in the final few minutes.
5/10
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