Severance Package: The Abridged Version

My dear BFF, Christin Kuretich, says she enjoys my novels. But one day, she admitted that they're... well, a little too gory for her. So I promised that I'd send an abridged version of my next book so that she can enjoy it without reaching for the sick bag. Here then, for the very first time, is the complete text of my next novel, Severance Package, not due to be published until Fall 2007 at the earliest, with all of the bloody stuff edited out. Enjoy!

Severance Package

(The Christin Kuretich Edit)

by Duane Swierczynski


The

and

or... but

therefore

sunlight

Chainsaw

building

"Oh, wow, those are some seriously ripe oranges, my friend," she said, as she

The

Or

However

"In light of this fact, I think our best move would be to...."

The exploding pickle complete drenched his...

Actually

The fact is

The

The

and

"I never knew a human heart could look like that."

And they all jumped on the trampoline, their spirits soaring, wondering if it was time yet to serve the cotton candy--the big, hot, fluffy pink sugar-coated dreamsnack of their collective futures. "Let's draw pictures, too!" she said, smiling.

THE END