Never believe this statement: "Covers in one easy coat!" This is the color we are painting part of the family room.
You know when you're watching a shitty and lame B slasher movie where everyone gets stabbed and sliced and eaten? And then they find a creepy hidden room somewhere? And there are devil bones and upside-down crosses and bits of fur and candles in the room? And the room is painted blood color?
That's the color I'm putting on my family room wall. It is Shitty Slasher Movie Devil Bone Hidden Room Red. Or maybe you could call it something lame like Candy Apple Red like you were a cheesy guy painting his teardrop gas tank. You could probably call it Hooker Red and that would be okay.
Look at what a shitty painter I am. I do not go back and correct eff-ups like the mother drip shown in the photograph. Instead, I hope you consume alcohol and that when you come to my house you will consume alot of it and not notice that the Shitty Slasher Movie Devil Bone Hidden Room Red paint was applied by an arthritic and blind baboon.
I promise to stop saying shitty and lame.
(shitty and lame shitty and lame shitty and lame shitty and lame)
So here's a picture of this crap in progress. Who cares? Shit. You people need something to read. Okay fine. I'd like nothing better than to write it, but I've got to sling more bloody drippy paint on the wall before the effing floor guys come next week. You're going to have to settle for some leftovers.
Here is an Erin O'Brien classic from about a year ago: Puppy cars and shattered ice cream dreams.
And an excerpt from my novel Harvey & Eck:
Lunch with the Crunch.
I promise to be back in bloggerland and commentland and surferland sometime next week (those sound like areas of an amusement park. Adventureland!). My ISP has turned old-lady-in-the-middle-of-the-grocery-aisle slow anyway and I can't navigate for shit until they get that straight. So this is a good time to be AWOL, but I miss you people and your crazy sites. Thanks for all the comments. I love on them big time.
(Someone is going to ask, so I will tell it now. The weird lamp on the floor was fashioned from a vintage fire extinquisher by my dad. He gave it to us as an engagement gift. I yelled at the Goat to move it before we got Candy Apple Red Hooker paint on it. He did and that was cool instead of turning out to be shitty and lame [promise to stop saying it]. Bye.)
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